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Puppet theatre: conflicts

(Clara and Joe are not on stage yet)

Clara: Come on, Joe. Get a move on; the children are waiting for us.
Joe: Ach, such rubbish. I cannot be bothered.
Clara: No, you can’t do that. We have to leave now. Otherwise there’ll be trouble!
Joe: Ach, trouble, from whom then? Anyway, the kids there, these cheeky snotty noses…do you really think that they are interested in Joe and Clara? Believe me, our time is over.
Clara: Ach rubbish, you are just in a bad mood again. Or are you still annoyed about the boys who threw tomatoes at you last time?
Joe: (angry) Of course I am still annoyed, but what can I do about it. With all of the cartoons nowadays, we are not cool at all with our paper noses.
Clara: (Jostling) Yes, maybe you are right, but we have to go now...
Joe: What do we have to do? I know what we have to do. We have to show these cheeky snotty nosed kids that we won’t accept it anymore. I have an idea. You go on ahead, I’ll follow you.
(Clara comes on stage)
Clara: Hello, children, are you all here? Sorry that we are a bit late, Joe will be coming soon, he just has to um, um deal with something. You know what, children? Joe loves children. He’ll probably have a great surprise for you all. What do you say? Isn’t Joe great?
Joe: (Comes with a helmet, protective suit and catapult)
Yeah, aren’t I great? You didn’t think you’d get such a surprise, did you?
Clara: Joe, what are you doing there?
Joe: (Pushes her away) So, now I’m taking over command here, OK?
Clara: Um, yes kids, it’s all a bit of fun. It’s all part of our puppet show, so don’t be scared...
Joe: Fun? The fun is over here. I’ve had enough of the snotty noses here. Get your tomatoes out. I am fully prepared. I can defend myself as well. Who wants the first pea in their face? You at the front? I don’t like your face but your stupid smile will soon be wiped off your face – take that. (Tenses the catapult with peas) (Releases the catapult in slow motion) (In this moment, Super Ken comes and throws himself into the firing line with a loud nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo and gets the peas straight in his face)
Clara: Oh no, what have you done? You have killed our super hero, Super Ken. (Cries) You scoundrel. It’s your entire fault...
Joe: Puh, what type of super hero do you call that, which gets knocked over by a little pea. And he wants to protect us from the evil ones? What a joke, I prefer to save myself. What a wimp.
Super Ken: (Stands up spectacularly) What did I hear, a wimp? Then you don’t know Super Ken very well.
Clara: (Falls into his arms) you’re alive. You saved us.
Super Ken: Of course I’m alive, although the pea shot wasn’t exactly soft. Joe, what on earth were you thinking about? You can’t just shoot the kids with peas. What got into you? I don’t know you at all. All children were your best friends in the past and now you aren’t even happy that they are there.
Joe: Ah, you. You don’t have problems like we do, what with your super powers. Look at the kids sitting there bored, but you are the big hero – or have you had a tomato thrown in your face before?
Super Ken: No, but a dried pea and that is a lot harder, believe me. Let’s change the subject. Didn’t you want to start the show ages ago? I can see why the kids are bored. Well, I’ll fly off. There are lots of others who I have to help. (Whispers to Joe) and if you are in danger, I’ll be there for you. Take care. (Flies off)
Clara: Then let us finally get started. We’ll do a card trick first of all, but we will need a volunteer. (Takes a child, the trick doesn’t work) what’s wrong? That always used to work. Ah Joe, can you try it? You are bound to know how it worked. (Gives Joe the cards).
Joe: Hmm, let’s see. Let’s see if I can manage it. Take a card. ... Here, this is your card, isn’t it? ...It’s not yours? Do you want to take the Mick out of me? You probably don’t even know which card you had. I can magic it up!
Merlin: Yes, yes that’s right. You can’t even keep the numbers apart. Let me have a go. I’ll show what a real magician can do.
Clara: What? You are a real magician? Someone that can magic things away and stuff?
Merlin: But of course! I can do a lot more than just magic things away. But let’s start off with something simple. Give me the cards, I will need a volunteer. (Child comes; Merlin does a trick and the trick works)
Merlin: So, but I said that I could magic things away. (Does a trick with a water glass and a cent) You’ll probably be trying to think of an explanation, but there isn’t one. You can either do magic or not and I am the master of this art. Now we will come to my speciality, sawing a person in half. Who wants to go first? The brave Joe or Clara? What do you children say, who should be sawn in two?
Joe: I would say “ladies first”. I am a gentleman after all. And if something should go wrong, we always have UHU, which glues everything!
Clara: You’re just scared. You are such a wimp, do you know that? Ok, then I’ll do it, under one condition.
Merlin: And that is?
Clara: You can do so many tricks. You have to tell me one of them, Merlin. I don’t do any tricks, I can do magic. But I think we can do something with you. Now enough of the talk. Lie on the ground, give me the saw, Joe, chop chop.
Joe: Wait a minute, not so hasty. Don’t you have to concentrate?
Merlin: Yeah, concentrate, what for then? I’ve been doing this for years.
Joe: But something isn’t right here. Something is strange here. Do you notice something children?
Merlin: Give me the saw you stupid Joe, what’s up?
Joe: Yes, that’s it. Why do you need a saw if you can do magic? Everyone can saw Clara in half. A real magician can do it without a saw, don’t you think so children?
Merlin: Umm, that is not true. The magic of the trick is not the sawing but the putting them back together.
Clara: Just a moment, how do I know that you can do that at all?
Joe: Exactly, maybe you are a devious organ thief. How do we know that we can trust you?
Merlin: Are you blind? You have just seen my magical arts at work. Why is there any reason to doubt me?
Clara: I don’t know, it doesn’t seem to be a good idea anymore.
Merlin: Ach, don’t be shy. In 2 minutes you’ll be sawn and put back together again. No risk – no fun.
Joe: Why don’t you show us that your trick works on yourself first of all?
Merlin: How often have I told you that I don’t do any tricks? Magic has nothing to do with tricking people. Anyway, how am I supposed to saw myself? I have never heard of that before that a magician has sawn himself in two. Enough with the pranks now. Give me the saw (pulls the saw from Joe’s hands) I want to watch the football tonight. (Turns on the saw).
Super Ken: (Super Ken comes flying in) No way you scoundrel, you have just given yourself away. A magician doesn’t watch football. A real magician knows how the game will end, so why should he watch the match?
Merlin: Where did you come from all of a sudden? I know you from television, you are...
Super Ken: correct, I’m Super Ken. But I know your face too. Your wanted picture is all over the newspapers. You are not a magician, but a con artist. I have already called the police; they’ll deal with you soon.
Clara: You have saved us again, my hero.
Joe: Yes, it’s great that you are there. You are really always there when we need you.
Super Ken: Do you children know who I am pleased are here? Without Joe and Clara, you wouldn’t have been kept entertained. It probably isn’t too rare an occasion when you fight among each other, is it? I had a few minutes spare. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been involved here at all. And now please do me a favour. I would like to enjoy the rest of my day in peace, so please get along with each other and do not fight with each other. Please do this for me. Ok, then goodbye, until next time.
Joe: Cool, we do have a use here then.
Clara: Exactly, if Super Ken says that, then it has to be true.
Joe: Bye, children and think about what Super Ken told you. You all want the best for him, don’t you?
Theme suggestion: Disagreements and the right and wrong heroes.

Author: Thomas Baberowski

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