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Fear of humiliation, making a mistake and failing

Do you know that? Can you find yourself in one or more of these statements? It could be that you perceive yourself "pretty fearless," but is there not the one or other saturation where you can see yourself?

I - a teacher, a youth leader, an educator:

  • How do I look to others?

  • Fear not standing up for oneself!

  • Afraid to embarrass yourself in front of the kids!

  • Afraid to embarrass yourself in front of others

  • Afraid to embarrass yourself in front of your parents

  • Afraid not getting it right

  • Fear of failure

  • Fear that a group session goes south

  • Fear of being ill-prepared

  • Fear of being insecure

  • Fear not being able to fulfil a task

  • Fear: of being judged because I have a different opinion because I'm doing something different, because I would like to make a different decision.

I as a student:

  • Fear of standing in front of the class

  • Afraid of getting a low mark

  • Afraid of being poorly assessed

  • Anxiety not to be able to something

Everybody once was a student and knows this situation. And depending on the teacher or class situation, you could make an absolute fool of yourself. And depending how your parents would respond if you got a low grade, the fear is great to come home with another failed exam.

I as an employee, as a boss:

  • Fear of others

  • Afraid to look bad

  • Afraid to fail

  • Fear of not knowing something

  • Anxiety ….

At work, the workplace; depending on the people you have to deal with, there are situations where you might feel insecure, be afraid to fail, look “dumb and stupid.” Sometimes even a fear of the boss or other colleagues.

Questions:

  • Where does this fear come from?

  • Where did this fear of failure come from?

  • Where does this fear of not being able to do something come from?

  • Where does this fear that the others are better come from?

  • Where does the fear of rejection come from?

Could the answer to anxiety be in one or more of the following answers?

Possible answers where those fears are coming from:

  • because we (sometimes or often) were criticized (criticized, beaten, punished, ridiculed, ...)

  • because we (eventually or often) were reprimanded

  • because we (eventually or often) were called stupid

  • because we (eventually or often) were referred to as lazy

  • because we (eventually or often) were laughed at if we did not know an answer

  • because we (eventually or often) were laughed at if we could not do something

  • because we have been called (sometimes or often) a failure, a loser

  • because we were (eventually or often) rejected (parents locked the child in, didn’t speak to the child anymore, ...)

  • because now we believe: I can’t, I am nothing

Conclusion:

The causes of anxiety are varied and are based on a broad range of experiences. Not everyone can understand the fear somebody else; some do not even know their own (actual, causal) fears.

Nevertheless, the experiences we had influenced our actions, our decisions - and if you'd investigate it a bit more detailed, you realize, much happens out of sheer fear, or does not happen out of fear respectively.

The fear of others:

  • Averts coexistence,

  • Averts to live well,

  • Averts reaching out to one another,

  • Averts that you are better off.

Implementing youth work as anxiety-free zone – Embarrassments are allowed.

  • No need to be afraid a making a fool of yourself

  • Everyone should be the way he is and to get involved, the way he can

  • Everyone is allowed to have a say without fear; or that it is wrong or is commented on negatively

  • Everyone should give it a go and be allowed to make mistakes

  • No one is stupid or clever

  • There is no up or down

  • There is no religious or not religious person

  • There is no exclusion, no selecting of people

because every man, child, and young person counts.


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