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God says, "Seek peace and pursue it!"

Psalm 34:15

Peace - a beautiful desire. Peace a state - indeed a scarce state, and almost unattainable. You do not have to look at the world situation with all the wars and conflicts. Nor does it always have to be war. A small quarrel, a bitter dispute, creates discord. No one wants to have an argument, yet we manage to break off a row in the shortest possible time. At the same time, we long for peace, as if we are not to blame for the dissension.

Let us first stay with the words or the invitation of seeking peace.

Action required!

To go in search of peace, to find peace, to chase after it. A beautiful outlook, yet at the same time significant. The word search indicates already the difficulty of finding peace. Therefore, finding consensus is not easy. You must go for it and look actively.

Two actions are required: the call to search, the need to hang on to it. Not to give up!

In other words, difficult - therefore perhaps so many quarrels & wars?

What breaks peace?

Why is it so hard to find peace and then to keep the peace? Why do we keep losing the connection to keep the peace once we found it? I think to understand this, we need to think about what is breaking the truce.

Once we understand that, we can understand the causes of the conflict.

As I wrote at the beginning, it is extremely easy for quarrels to arise. A few unpleasant words, a slipped hand or fist, are in most cases enough. But there are also less violent or loud arguments, which provide for just as much friction. If I exclude the other, never talk to him again, then no unpleasant words or fights are needed. I have hurt the other with the exclusion.

I will now list a few keywords, each of which provides ample material for discussion.

  • Envy: I would like to take something away from the other person. I behave accordingly derogatory, envy the other for his success, his position, etc.

  • Jealousy: the other person can do something better than I can, looks better, is admired more. Who does not know such situations? Jealousy is often the killer in a loving relationship.

  • Power: who would not like to be on top? To be able to decide. To be able to exercise control. If a situation arises to exercise power over the other, such a situation is often exploited. "I showed him!" I am happy when the other person is feeling bad, and when he is lying on the ground, I can give him another kick.

  • Dissatisfaction: my own dissatisfaction leads to quarrels, thoughtless words, and hurt. Is the other person responsible for my dissatisfaction?

  • Disappointment: out of pure disappointment arises anger and the impossibility of forgiveness. A new beginning, reaching out to the other person seems impossible. But what does disappointment mean? I have expected something, which from my personal view I have not received. Maybe this expectation could never be fulfilled. Is disappointment, therefore, a justification?

  • Insecurity, lack of self-confidence leads to envy and fear.

    • Fear of falling short,
    • Fear of being on the losing side,
    • Fear of being laughed at
    • Fear of being ostracized.

    No one likes to lose or "come up short." Nevertheless, these fears cause us to oppose the other person and prefer to be on the winning side. Helping the other person up, standing by their side - even when no one else wants to stand by them - requires courage and self-confidence.

  • A world view of stupid & clever, a world view of above & below, a world view of inequality.

    World views are created through our upbringing and the culture in which we live. In principle, we are born into "world views" without being able to do anything about it. It starts early: "Are you stupid?", "You'll never learn...", "You looser...", later it continues with being on top or bottom in society (professionally, financially). Surely everyone can think of some examples that have been imprinted in our (sub)consciousness that we have already experienced/said/used. But who wants to look stupid or find himself at the bottom? Not me! However, not the other person either. Nevertheless...

Where do we see this dispute in our immediate environment?

Seek peace and pursue it
Seek peace and pursue it

  • Family quarrels
  • Quarrels among colleagues
  • Quarrels with neighbors
  • Disputes among children & teenagers
  • Mobbing
  • Deliberately ostracizing people (classmates, colleagues, ...)


You can talk a lot about peace, but making peace always starts with me.

However, our human weaknesses - for which we often are not responsible, which we are usually not even aware of - prevent us from going in search of peace.

Our own fragility, our recklessness, our selfish and fearful actions give rise to disagreements. We have focused our gaze on ourselves instead of peaceful interaction with one another. This realization, this change of view, makes the search for peace a little easier.

Then we can also begin to chase peace. However, we first need to change internally. Change our view of how we want to see the world.

What can I do to make peace happening?

Being human begins with learning to understand others and oneself. You can equally say: peace begins when I learn to understand others and myself. When I no longer take myself so seriously and begin to see my fellow human being as an equal. When I can reach out to the other person for forgiveness, I can make friends with the other person (again).

  • Where the (fellow) human being is in the center, peace arises.

  • Where the (fellow) human experiencing respect and recognition, peace arises.

  • Where the (fellow) human being is understood and accepted, peace arises.

  • Where I learn to forgive the other person and can make friends with him, peace arises.

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